Yawn, don’t bother me with this. New study finds, “You’re gay.” Totally gay for caring at all.
Racist Shunned by Community for Discrimination
Shame An internet racist today was shamed and ostracized by his racist chat group for terrible prejudices against people not of his own race. “It’s truly horrendous,” one bystander had to say, as he spit shined his statue of Hitler. “Can’t he just give somebody a chance and not judge them for the color of […]
Capes Confirmed for Giant Blankies
Bankies not just for babies According to Dr. Jan Janson, who heads up the quiltology department of the School of Cuddling at Oxford, capes were simply enormous bankies nobles would take with them should nappies occur. In his forthcoming book, “How Naps Fixed the World,” Dr. Janson suggests that noble classes of Europe were able […]
New Study Finds Alzheimer’s Risks for Fear of Alzheimer’s
A new study out of Hope Medical University suggests people who are terrified of developing Alzheimer’s are 17 times more likely to be affected by the debilitating and humiliating disease. Dr. Gladstone, lead researcher of the study, had this to say, “yeah you know, it’s really quite sad but I’m just happy I don’t fear […]
Accidental Police Shooting Kills Over 87 People, 2 Masked Bandits, Injures 8 Survivors
Police arrived at the scene of a reported bank robbery at 2:07pm in Douglas County, West Virginia just outside Asheburg. They had been dispatched to the location after a whispered and hurried 911 call placed from within the bank suggesting bank robbers with medical-grade facemasks were currently holding everyone hostage. Officer Ramsey, who was at […]