Shame

An internet racist today was shamed and ostracized by his racist chat group for terrible prejudices against people not of his own race.

“It’s truly horrendous,” one bystander had to say, as he spit shined his statue of Hitler.

“Can’t he just give somebody a chance and not judge them for the color of their skin?” asked another man who has nothing to do with this story and has had no contact with anybody in it.

We here at Faik.news condemn all forms of racism and encourage racists to stop being so racist, and start being just a little less racist. A little bit everyday can help so much.

“Sí señor, I am so sad.”

— the Victim

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Bankies not just for babies


According to Dr. Jan Janson, who heads up the quiltology department of the School of Cuddling at Oxford, capes were simply enormous bankies nobles would take with them should nappies occur.

In his forthcoming book, “How Naps Fixed the World,” Dr. Janson suggests that noble classes of Europe were able to take advantage of the rest of the population on account of “not being tuckered out or irritable all the time, crying like little babies.”

Dr. Janson: “They also had soft leathers strapped to their sword hilts in the shape of nipples. They’d gnaw and suck on that for hours as they floated away snug as a bug.”

We tried extracting more information out of Dr. Janson but it was 1pm and he promptly ushered us out of his office.

 

 

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